


The secrets we keep

by little_dhampir



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-02-28 22:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13280757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_dhampir/pseuds/little_dhampir
Summary: Merlin and Arthur are best friends and roommates, but when Arthur witnesses Merlin doing some magic things might change between them.





	The secrets we keep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pukajen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pukajen/gifts).



> This is for the lovely Pukajen who gave me this cool prompt and had to wait for ages to read this. I am sorry for taking so long, I hope I did your idea justice.
> 
> Thank you Katie for betaing this story super last minute and for being such a great friend, Chat would be an empty place without you.
> 
> Now that I've mentioned the Merlin Chat, thanks to every single person in Chat! You all motivate me to keep on writing. I am so proud to call you my friends.
> 
> Last but not least, big thanks and hugs to the mods who organised this fest and somehow managed to stay patient with me.

“Merlin?”

The shocked sounding voice coming from the door surprised Merlin enough to temporarily let go of his magic. With a loud crash the pots fell down into the sink, the soap water splashing over and running down towards the floor. Merlin closed the book he had been reading without putting his bookmark in, an embarrassing yelp leaving his lips as he saw Arthur standing in their kitchen.

“Arthur,” he stammered, unsure what to say. He hadn't expected his roommate to swing by their flat at this time of the day. A quick look on the clock above their fridge confirmed his suspicion that it must be Arthur's lunch break.

“I can explain,” he tried, even though he knew he couldn't. At least not in a satisfactory way. There was a reason he had kept his magic hidden from Arthur and there was no way to explain it without having to admit he had lied to his best friend and roommate for years. It hadn't been an easy decision for him to hide such an integral part of himself but he had to, at least until the time was supposed to be right.

He still looked at Arthur, whose face was showing a mixture of confusion and horror as his eyes darted between the pots hidden in the sink water and the book in Merlin's hands, his gaze landing anywhere but at Merlin's face.

“I just dropped by because I forgot this. I have to go,” Arthur finally broke the silence. Merlin only now realised the briefcase Arthur had carefully bagged the night before while watching some old Doctor Who episodes with Merlin was still standing in their kitchen where Arthur seemed to have forgotten it this morning. 

“Arthur,” Merlin tried again but his best friend had already turned around and with a few swift strides he was gone from the flat. The urge to jump up and run after him was strong, but Merlin managed to ignore it. He knew Arthur would need some time to comprehend what he just saw, and he needed some time to think about what he was going to say to Arthur. 

Despite knowing this day would come eventually, he was not ready to talk about his magic. He knew magic wasn't a secret; most people practiced it openly and legally. Merlin had done so himself when he was younger, but coming to university had changed that. On his first day he had been shocked to realise his roommate would be no other than Arthur Pendragon, son of Uther Pendragon, the conservative, right wing, anti-magic politician. Even though he had soon learned that Arthur was nothing like his father and they had not only become unlikely friends but best friends, Merlin still had kept on hiding his abilities.

Usually it was surprisingly easy to hide them since Merlin rarely needed to use his magic anyway; but today was the first day of winter break at the preschool Merlin was working at as a teacher, so he had been too lazy to bother doing the cleaning himself. Instead he had picked up the book Arthur had bought him for Christmas last year and that he had wanted to read since then but was always lacking the time to, and sat down on one of the chairs by their tiny kitchen table so he would be close enough to at least pretend like he was making sure his magic wouldn't wreak havoc.

Arthur coming home during his lunch break was the last thing he had expected to happen, so he had been carefree with his magic, too carefree. Still sitting on the chair, Merlin dropped his head and lay it down on the kitchen table with a sigh. He really hoped he could explain everything to Arthur when he came back home later.

 

***

 

Arthur's brain was still trying to work through what he had just witnessed, even as his body moved of its own accord, his legs carrying him down the stairs and towards the exit of the building. He was glad he had used the public transport to come to his flat instead of his car; he was sure he would have caused an accident if he tried to get to his meeting with the vehicle now.

Merlin had magic. Even as he tried to come up with a different explanation for what he had just witnessed deep inside he knew the truth; there were magical forces behind the dishes cleaning themselves, and they were coming from his best friend. 

Arthur took a few steps away from their flat and got on the bus that was just stopping at the corner. He should mentally prepare for his meeting. It was an important one, maybe even the most important one he had had all year, but he couldn't convince his brain to think about anything but Merlin and the betrayal he felt deep in his gut.

His best friend had gone behind his back to study something he knew Arthur would disapprove of. Despite not sharing many of his father's ideas, Uther’s head had nearly exploded when his only son had finally come out as bisexual at the age of 23. Arthur's stance on magic was pretty similar to his father's. He didn't necessarily hate it as much as Uther did, but he did prefer staying clear of it as far as possible. So for Merlin to bring magic into their home was like a stab in the back for Arthur.

The feeling of utter betrayal slowly took over his mind. It was obvious Merlin had tried to keep it hidden from him, and Arthur wasn't sure if that wasn't even worse. He would never keep such a big thing a secret; he told Merlin everything. Well, not everything; there was this teenie tiny lie he told Merlin and himself, every time he called the other man his best friend without acknowledging the fact that what he felt was way beyond friendship, but that was for his own good. Merlin was in love with someone else, and even if he wasn't, there was no way Arthur would ever risk their friendship by professing his love. A friendship that might no longer exist now.

Shaking his head and signalling his wish to exit just in time, he left the bus and tried to leave his thoughts behind as well. He needed to ace this meeting; he could continue worrying later.

 

***

 

It had been nearly two hours since Merlin's magic had been exposed and despite no longer having to worry about keeping his secret, Merlin had done all the housework by hand instead of using his abilities again. He needed the manual work to distract him from his thoughts. 

All too soon he was done though; living with a neat freak like Arthur meant there was never too much to clean anyway. Looking around, he tried to come up with anything to do, anything to keep his mind from coming up with all the bad things that could come from the exposure of his magic, and each thought terrified him more than the one before had.

Arthur could hate him. He could hate him and never want to talk to him again and move out or throw Merlin out, which would be more likely if Merlin was honest with himself.

“Shut up,” Merlin shouted out loud as if his mind was a person standing next to him. His outburst made Kilgharrah jump. The old cat had been with Merlin since he had been a teenager, and after a few years apart thanks to university, had moved in with Merlin and Arthur when they had got their flat.

Somehow Kilgharrah had managed to sleep through that disastrous event earlier and only now emerged in the kitchen looking for food. He gave an annoyed sounding meow as he realised his bowl was empty. With a sigh Merlin picked the cat up and cuddled him against his chest for a second before he walked over to the counter which held the cat food. He would have loved to cuddle the old grumpy cat a bit longer but really didn't want to test his luck anymore. A cat scratch was the last thing he needed right now.

“At least I got you on my side,” Merlin said as he sat the cat down in front of his now full bowl. Kilgharrah ignored him in favour of his lunch.

“And I’ve got Arthur. We will figure it out, don't you worry. He will come home and I will explain everything to him and he will understand. Maybe not at first but he will. Eventually.”

Merlin looked at the clock again; he had a few more hours before Arthur would get home, so he had a few more hours to find the right words to fix everything. After one last glance at the eating cat, he walked over to the living room. Picking up a piece of paper and a pen, he started brainstorming.

 

***

 

“So let me get this straight; you found out something about Merlin, something you can't tell me about, and instead of going straight home to talk about it with him, you came here to tell me about whatever you can't talk about involving Merlin?”

“Yeah?” Arthur hated how his voice sounded so unsure with that answer. He really didn't know why he had thought coming to his sister's place would be a good idea. In his defence he had intended to go to his mate Leon, maybe get a beer at the pub around the corner, but the second he had knocked on their door, Morgana made it clear she was not letting her husband out of sight and so Arthur ended up on a rocking chair, in the middle of a children's bedroom, with a three year old child in his arms instead of a beer. The effect it had on his nerves was not the same despite Morgana’s claim.

“You’re an idiot,” Morgana said, rocking her younger daughter on her hip without missing a beat in their conversation. Leon was crawling on the floor, still trying to fix the new bed for Mordred, who was giggling in Arthur's lap as he heard his mother use a bad word.

“I am not,” was all Arthur could say, hoping at least Leon would understand him.

“Don't look at me like that,” the ginger-haired man said from his spot on the floor. “You know I am on her side. And no, that is not just because she would threaten me with bodily harm which I know she is actually capable of. Merlin is your best friend, has been for years. Is whatever he did really so unforgivable to just throw that away?”

“You don't understand,” Arthur tried but stopped himself from continuing that sentence. Of course they didn't understand; if he was honest with himself he didn't understand either. Coming here did not change the situation he was dealing with, and neither half of the married pair could change it either. 

Morgana for once took pity on him; her gaze softened as she looked at her brother.

“Everything will turn out fine. I know that.” The way she said those words made it sound as if she had seen it in his future.

“Are you done?” She changed the topic and addressed her husband, who once again worked on the kid’s bed. Arthur still couldn't see any actual progress; the bed looked exactly the same as it had when he had arrived earlier, but Leon seemed confident when he said, “I am nearly done.”

Morgana shook her head. “I'll go get the little ones ready for bed; maybe you'll be done by then. I have plans tonight that don't involve a three-year old sleeping between us.” 

She turned to Arthur, who tried to get the thought of his sister's sex life out of his head.

“Come along and help me.”

Arthur, who was still holding his nephew in his arms, didn't have much choice but to follow. After helping first Freya and then Mordred brush their teeth in relative silence, Morgana finally talked again.

“Whatever Merlin hid from you, he had his reasons. He did it to protect you both, don't forget that. And once you say goodnight to your niece and nephew, go home and talk to him.”

She petted his shoulder as she left the bathroom with her children. Arthur followed, knowing Morgana was right; he had to go home. He had to talk to Merlin, and maybe he could convince him to stop the magic studying before it was too late.

“I knew telling you about my plans would motivate you.” Morgana smiled as she entered the children's bedroom. Leon was still sitting on the floor, but the bed seemed to be finally fixed. The bed was all ready for Mordred to sleep in; even his teddy bear lay next to the pillow. 

Morgana helped Freya into her bed as Mordred crawled into his own. Arthur knelt by his nephew to give him a kiss goodnight. He pressed his lips against Mordred’s head and hugged his tiny body one last time.

“Sleep well,” he said before getting up and walking over to Freya’s bed. Freya already had her face buried in the bunny Arthur had bought her for her birth. “Goodnight,” he said one last time before moving towards the door.

“Uncle Arthur?” Mordred’s sleepy voice stopped him in his track. “Don't worry, everything will be good between you and Uncle Merlin.”

Arthur left the room, Mordred’s voice ringing in his ears. Somehow that young boy's voice sounded so convicted, he too believed everything would be okay. And his family was right; he really needed to get home.

 

***

 

Merlin couldn't stop looking at the clock; it was 10pm and Arthur still wasn't home. He should have been done with work at least three hours ago, and the drive home shouldn't have taken him more than thirty minutes.

He kept on checking his phone every other minute, waiting for some sign or message saying something terrible had happened to Arthur and that's why he hasn't come home yet.

But he knew the truth; Arthur was hiding out because of him. For the tenth time he contemplated going to bed. He should just sleep over it; they both should and then they could talk about it in the morning. They were best friends; nothing could change that. Not even the secrets he had kept.

But he stayed on the couch, unable to move towards his bedroom. He was nearly falling asleep sitting when he finally heard some noise. Listening closely, he could hear the front door opening. It took his whole willpower not to jump up and run towards Arthur. Instead he waited in the living room for the other man to come in.

“I spent most of today pondering several questions, but I am going to start with this one. How long ago did you start studying magic?”

Arthur entered the room and walked all around their tiny couch table to sit in the chair on the opposite side. Merlin swallowed as Arthur sat down in the chair Morgana had bought for them when they had first moved in. It was a stylish but pretty uncomfortable one; usually they both just sat on the couch.

“I never studied it; I was born with it.”

Merlin could see Arthur's mouth opening again, clearly planning to ask another question.

“Please, let me just tell you. You can ask me anything you want afterwards, but please let me explain first.” 

His voice sounded a lot more desperate than he had hoped for, but he couldn't hide his fear. He was so scared to lose his best friend, nothing else mattered.

“I was born with magic. I never studied it or anything. Maybe I could have learned something more about my abilities if my mom hadn't been so scared for me. She never made me feel like there was anything wrong with me or anything, but she was worried about me. There were enough people out there who were and still are pretty intolerant. And not just people in town, but also people in the news, like your father.”

Merlin could see Arthur flinch when he heard his father's name. So far he hadn't stopped Merlin's speech, only sat there and listened.

“It's not like I really needed my magic. It's fun, so I used to play around a bit with it. Let my magic do my chores when my mom wasn't home and stuff. And then university happened and you happened and when I heard your name I was so scared you would be like your father. Remember how I couldn't sleep the first few nights? I told you it was because I was missing home but the truth is, I was so scared you'd find out about my magic and hurt me, I was afraid to let my guard down even for a second. But then you turned out to be so much better than your father, and we became friends and I kept on telling myself, one day I'll tell him, but that day never came. I was waiting for this perfect opportunity, but the longer I waited the harder it became. I mean, how do you tell someone you love you've been lying to them for years. I really didn't mean it, and I am so so so sorry Arthur, I really am and I…”

“You love me?” Arthur finally stopped Merlin's speech which had turned into a ramble halfway through. He looked shocked; he obviously needed a minute to let everything he had just learned settle but as opposed to a few hours ago his shock seemed to be more a positive than negative shock.

“That's what you're taking from my story? That I love you?” Merlin wasn't sure what to think about that; he stubbornly ignored his wild beating heart in favour of ignoring the fact that he had just revealed his second secret.

“I heard you Merlin, and honestly I still need to wrap my head about most of it. I really want to stay angry at you for lying to me, but I guess I can't. With my upbringing it was a safe bet to assume I would be like my father. I still wish you would have told me earlier, but what's done is done. I don't want to lose you, Merlin.”

Merlin felt like crying tears of joy as Arthur sent him a tentative smile.

“I don't want to lose you either. I can show you my magic, show you how amazing it can be. You know, I am still the same Merlin I ever was. Just with a weird hobby you knew nothing about.”

“I would like that,” Arthur replied, and his eyes widened as Merlin's eyes turned golden. A few words, ancient and familiar as ever, left his lips before the flame of the candle burning on their tiny table turned bigger and changed shape. One second it was simple fire, the next the flames shaped into a dragon, glowing golden and red.

Arthur's eyes followed the shift in awe, before he slowly got up to move closer. His hand seemed to itch with the need to touch. 

“You can touch it. Feel the magic; it won't burn your fingers.”

And so Arthur did, his fingers gently touching the dragon-shaped flame, clearly surprised by the cool energy it seemed to emanate. He started petting the dragon like he usually did with Kilgharrah. The dragon snuggled against his palm before getting tinier and turning back to a regular candle light. Arthur pulled back his hand before he could get burned and sat down on the couch next to Merlin. His eyes were shining.

“I guess you liked that,” Merlin smiled.

“Like? That was awesome, Merlin; I loved it!” 

Arthur's face suddenly turned unsure again as the words love left his lips. Merlin realised they still had some talking to do. Arthur might be able to get past the hidden magic, but by blurring out his second secret, Merlin might have done just as much damage as with his first one.

“Did you mean it when you said you loved me?” Arthur asked, finally addressing the elephant in the room. “But what about Gwaine?”

“Gwaine?” Now Merlin was the confused one.

“Yes, Gwaine. I thought you were in love with him. You keep on bringing him along all the time…”

Merlin burst out laughing before Arthur could continue. He tried to stop, but he felt as if every single confusing emotion he had felt in the last twelve hours was bursting free now, all of them manifesting in a laugh that brought tears to Merlin's eyes.

“I really don't know what's so funny about that assumption.” Arthur sounded offended.

“I am sorry Arthur,” Merlin managed to say before bursting into another loud laugh. “Gwaine, really, Arthur?”

“You kept inviting him along every time we had plans with our friends. I thought you liked him.”

“I do like him. As a friend. But there is someone else who likes him, not just as a friend.” He finally managed to hold back the giggles.

“Who?” Arthur asked, confused.

“Elena, your secretary. Seriously, Arthur, no wonder it was so easy to keep my magic hidden from you; you are too oblivious sometimes. Elena has the hots for Gwaine ever since she saw you guys playing football together. I was hoping Gwaine might like her too, so I invited him along whenever we met. And it seemed to work; didn't you know they had their first date last week?”

Arthur looked slightly ashamed at not having realised that earlier. “So you don't like Gwaine. But you love me?”

Merlin took a big gulp of air. This was it, the moment he had dreamt of and dreaded for years, but seeing as he was done with keeping secrets from Arthur, he had no choice but confess. They had to deal with it one way or another.

“Yes, I love you. I've been in love with you for some time now and -” He couldn't even finish his sentence before Arthur said, “I love you too.”

 

***

 

Arthur wasn't sure how it happened; one minute they were talking about magic, and the next they were confessing their love for one another. He couldn't tell who moved first, but suddenly he had Merlin in his lap, his mouth finding Arthur's in a desperate kiss. 

It wasn't perfect; their noses bumped against one another, their teeth clicked as they collided, but it was still the best kiss Arthur ever had. Some tiny romantic part of his heart knew it had to do with the deep connection they were sharing, but his brain wasn't able to function or listen to any of it. All he cared for was the feeling of Merlin in his arms.

Arthur's right hand found Merlin's cheek, angling his face a bit so he could deepen the kiss. His heart skipped a beat when he felt Merlin give in fully. His gangly legs wrapped firmer around Arthur, their bodies pressed together even more closely.

He wished he would never have to stop kissing Merlin, but soon enough he had to take a break to breathe. He still held Merlin close; he wasn't ready to let him go; they shared the same air.

“Wow,” Merlin mumbled and pressed his face against Arthur's cheek, leaving a quick peck there. Arthur had no words to express how amazing this felt, so he went for another kiss instead. This one was a bit slower than the first one. Arthur took his time to enjoy the firm feeling of Merlin's plump lips. They were slightly chapped but still soft, opening up eagerly as Arthur's tongue touched them. He dipped in, wanting to taste Merlin. Just a second was enough for Arthur to become addicted to Merlin's kisses. This time Merlin was the one to break the kiss to breathe. He snuggled closer, and Arthur could feel something digging against his pelvis. He felt a rush as he realised Merlin was as affected by their kisses as he was.

They were suddenly disturbed by a meow and by Kilgharrah rubbing against them, obviously wanting in on their love. Arthur laughed out loud.

“As much as I love your cat, I think we should continue this without him.”

Merlin nodded in agreement and pecked Arthur's lips before he tried to get up, but Arthur was faster. He managed to get up with Merlin still in his lap. Grabbing his ass, he held onto him as Merlin's legs tightened around his waist. Letting out a loud chuckle Arthur carried Merlin towards his bedroom, leaving a grumpy cat behind.


End file.
